Lost in Transduction

I received my first assignment at my new job: help translate the website from French into English. No big surprise as I am the only native English speaker here. Many people speak English, but a technical website that is your image to the world is very hard to translate by non native speakers. It is difficult for me as well, as I do not know how to translate some technical terms. One big assumption people make is that if you speak two languages, you can easily translate between the two. This is not the case at all! I learned the basics of French by using one to one translation, but after years of practice, you begin to think in French when you speak in French, thus “cutting the cord” between the two languages. I do not know of any language that is a one to one exchange. That is, if you translate directly, word for word, between two languages, you come up with gibberish. You have to translate phrases, expressions, and nuances that sometimes can only be found in one language. Lost in translation is as real as it gets. For example, there is an expression in French: 5 à 7 (pronounced sank ah set; literal translation - 5 to 7). It is a very easy and short way of saying that two people meet, usually between the hours of 5 and 7 in the evening to have sex. Then they part ways as if nothing happened. Sometimes it is an affair, sometimes what we in English would call “special friends”, but the underlying meaning is that it is perfectly acceptable to meet someone and have relations without strings attached. Not promiscuously mind you, but the very (French) chic idea of romance.

Note: Some people might find this appalling but the most important thing that you can be in a foreign country is open minded. You have to accept that not everyone around the world thinks the same way you do. You can like it, you can hate, you just can’t judge it. Learning the cultural differences is one of the first things you should do before living abroad. After 2 years in Asia and 4 here in Europe, I have too many examples to show my cultural ignorance but I’ll share just one. In France, and other parts of Europe, when you meet someone of the opposite sex, you greet them by kissing them on the cheek. Well, not really kissing them on the cheek, but touching cheeks and kissing the air. This done by everyone, even at the first introduction. How many times to kiss and which cheek to start with depends on the area and the person. Growing up in the buckle of the Bible Belt (South Carolina), the only people that we men kiss on the cheek is our mothers, our wives, our daughters, and cute babies. That’s it. That amounts to about 5 different people to kiss on the cheek each year depending on the number of cute babies one might encounter. Needless to say, I was a bit apprehensive when faced with kissing all these women at first introduction. They were perfect strangers 5 seconds ago, and now I’m at first base! So, when introduced to my friend’s friends, I usually hesitated for them to initiate the contact. This hesitation was not appreciated. I was thinking “I wonder if she minds if I kiss her, I mean, it IS only a kiss on the cheek”; they were thinking “Who does this guy think he is? He is too good to greet me. How rude! I mean, it IS only a kiss on the cheek. Putain americain”. After embarrassing my girlfriend and hearing her explanation (Please excuse him. It’s not his fault, he is American) I decided to just drop my inhibitions and start kissing. I sometimes use the "it's not his fault, he is American" to really get down. I just grab 'em and plant a nice wet one on each cheek just to make sure they know I'm down with the culture. I think I will only be able to push that line so far, though. We shall see.